My Morning Guilt Trip

She's usually having First Nap when I leave. Not staring at me with her ears back.

More Public Shaming

Or I guess this one could also be, “When Moms Use Facebook.” Although my mom calls to ask permission before posting anything on my page, because she knows I’m friends with both business and personal friends. But my Great Aunts have no such filter. And while there are many excellent examples of public shaming of my sister and me by this aunt, she really does save some of the best for her son. 

This first sample is a photo of a motorcycle posted by my cousin. He often posts bike photos. His sister was killed in a very tragic accident while on a bike before I was born, so I’m probably going to hell for using this as my first example. 

Sample #2

Yikes. I would like to point out – it’s been two weeks and he hasn’t responded.

Sample #3

 

My cousin owns a BBQ restaurant. I’m sure this is exactly what he wants his customers and friends to think about – him running up to Tennessee to nab some free pork.

 

Public Shaming

My Great Aunt makes a seriously yummy banana pudding. She knows I love it. I’m Ashley. The one that won’t take time to come see her.

Aunts on Facebook

I have a couple of Great Aunts, and regardless of what it will seem, I do love them. I especially love that they are both on Facebook, and often post seemingly random comments and pictures. I've been saving some of these screenshots for a long time, but lately they have been more active.

The above was posted on a professional photographers photo of a young girl. My aunt doesn't know the photographer. Or even my niece per this comment:

My sister ended up deleting this comment because it comes off a little creepy. And mean.

Dear Asshat

Dear Asshat Riding a Motorcycle in my Residential Neighborhood,

The speed limit is 25. You can go faster? But for the love of all that is holy, do not try to pass me on the left, when I'm slowing down. Chances are I'm about to turn into my fucking driveway.

Sorry I almost killed you,
Ashley

P.S. turn your headlight on. It's pitch black outside; maybe if I'd seen you I wouldn't have a) almost killed you and b) laid on my horn. I hope your adrenaline is still pumping high.

Good Intentions

I have a cute pug-shaped chalkboard on the door to my office. When I first got it, I used it to leave messages as to my whereabouts and announcements I had. Soon people were leaving me messages or drawing cute things for me.Then I started finding fun things online and started doing more inspirational boards like this one:

I liked this one so much I Instagrammed it. 

Anyway, I pinned this one in December and was psyched to replicate it for my board as soon as 2013 rolled around. 

It stayed in place about three days before someone (oh I know who) changed it to this:

Because that person ran into an actual work situation in which she had to say, "Don't feed the goats." I liked this actually; it was far more appropriate for my sense of humor. Then last week happened. Many awful things occurred and a different co-worker said you know, "today is pretty bad but at least it can't eat us."

Late that same night, I discovered my goat feeding co-worker had posted this on facebook:

So while she was in an important meeting being elected President of a regional council, I sent her this one:

I got this back: